To the left is a picture of Alex Winfield, a gentleman I met at the conference who, besides having a stupendously fluffy head of hair, is a very enthusiastic writer of graphic novels. He came up to me out of the blue during lunch and started talking to me about novel writing, Japanese mythology and world development. I think he may have been more interested in my friend Steve's NaNoWriMo t-shirt than me.
Alex, like the majority of writers there, were not dramatic writers per se. Most of the conference attendees ,I gathered, were novelists of one genre or another, poets, songwriters, non-fiction writers, freelance writers, sports writers, and nature writers. However, there were some things of interest for dramatic writers, and some things I want to share with you all about the conference.
First, I need to gripe. If I were going to have a conference and have a wifi network setup in the conference facility, I wouldn't make it inaccessible to the attendees. I would be concerned that might piss off the bloggers who were attending my conference and deny the conference a bunch of free real-time publicity. Even if it's bad publicity, I would be thinking it's still publicity. Also, I would make sure there were no other events, like let's say a marathon, taking place during the beginning of my conference that would create a traffic jam and keep attendees from arriving on time. For some reason, I guess, the conference organizers haven't gotten their mind-reading licenses renewed so I'll have to manage my expectations better for next year.
The only workshops at this year's conference dealing directly with dramatic writing, in this case television writing, were the ones put on by Eric Williams, an Assistant Professor of Media Arts and Studies at Ohio University. His work shops, “Tools of the Trade” and “Working in the Guild” put my note-taking skills to the limit.
In the “Tools” workshop Eric discussed the rules and structure of television writing and a concept called the “ Triangle of Knowledge”. The name of the game in television writing as Eric put it is to create tension and enjoyment for the audience. That's where the Triangle of Knowledge comes in. In the T.O.K. you have 3 parties: the audience, the protagonist(s), and the other characters. To create tension and enjoyment in a story a writer must keep essential knowledge from one of those parties. He provided several examples of how this is done from playing excerpts of television shows and discussing the plot twists from Gilligan's Island. I learned that Gilligan's Island and Lost are basically the same show and that I am too old school right now to be writing for modern T.V. I hadn't seen any of the shows he used as examples, (Desperate Housewives and Breaking Bad).
The second workshop, “Working in the Guild” was on the business of television writing. In this workshop he discussed how to get into the Writer's Guild of America (WGA) and their point system for earning membership, basics of giving a pitch, how to network in the business, schmoozing at film and script festivals, the differences between a manager and an agent, how much money you can make from writing a script, the difference between a solicited and unsolicited script, and the dynamics of what working in the television industry is all about. What I really appreciated about Eric was that after the second workshop he sat down with a group of us and continued the workshop. I realized I better get started writing my clever spec script and mass mailing query letters to all the addresses in the Hollywood Creative Directory after I get done with this blog post...
Overall my general sense when first arriving to the conference is if you already have an English Literature degree (like myself) or a creative writing degree then some of these classes may be a review. If not, then the conference is only $60 and will be a good investment. I went to the workshop titled, “Is it Fantasy If There Is No Magic?” led by author James Barnes in the first bracket of time slots for the day. I did not get to hear the beginning (I was late because of all those damn joggers) . However, I got the impression that this workshop was presented for people just learning to distinguish the different types of fantasy. (i.e., science fiction, high fantasy, magical realism, mythical fantasy, surrealist fiction.) This is something I could probably brush up on since my college days but I can look it up on Wikipedia if I want to try and remember why I paid so much money to learn it in college when I could have just gone to the workshop in the first place. Needless to say, I wasn't interested and left.
Besides the workshops, another reason writers came to the CSCC writers conference is to network and talk shop... which there was plenty of. And eat food... The food was pretty good. Not 5-star, but definitely better than a continental breakfast at a hotel. That still doesn't sound right, does it? Well... it was good enough. 
The other major attraction was keynote speaker, humor writer David Rakoff. A contemporary of David Sedaris, and in fact Rakoff was discovered by Sedaris. Rakoff has been a contributer to the NPR show This American Life, The New York Times Magazine, a correspondent for Outside Magazine and Writer – at – Large for GQ. He has two New York Times bestselling books Fraud and Don't Get Too Comfortable, and the soon to be released new book of essays Half Empty. I had the opportunity to ask him during the talk how he went from being a writer who didn't finish his work to a writer who did. I asked this question right after he had made a sardonic commentary on the musical Rent about the lack of creativity expressed by the characters. He replied, “ Panic. Shear panic.
I thought if I didn't take the time and try and fail at writing properly then I would regret it for the rest of my life. I didn't want to spend the rest of my life being just the funniest guy in the office.” During the talk someone asked him if there was something that he would like to do but had not done yet. He said he wanted to write a play but didn't think he would because he was too scared. After the talk I, being me (snicker) came up to him and offered to have him come read his play at one of our meetings if he ever got it done. He said politely that my offer was very charming. I don't think he took me very seriously... I'm too amused at my own obnoxiousness to be embarrassed. David's despair struck home with me. I know that panic. – Oh, the horror... I knew I wasn't getting any younger and I did not want to be on my death bed regretting not pursuing my creative dreams. At the very least, I wanted to fail perfectly. In starting our meet-up group The Drama Foundry, part of my intention has been to be action oriented. There are other meet-up groups in Columbus that do not seem to do this. When you show up to a TDF meeting, besides hearing me talk a bit at the beginning, you are there to read and give feedback. Consequently, I asked two or three writers at the conference what is the difference between a successful writer and an unsuccessful writer - they finish something. Everyone I asked would blink their eyes while restraining their impulse in giving some heady response because I imagine they realized the answer was much simpler than anything their jet-turbine minds could spit out.
“ You can suck a mile of cock but that won't make you Oscar Wilde.” David espoused when commenting that none of the characters in Rent who claimed to be “creative” and “artistic” really were. (I haven't seen Rent yet.) “ You can be gay. You can be HIV positive. You can live in New York City. You can hang out with your friends. You can make Super 8 movies of you hanging out with your friends. That doesn't make you an artist.” As he stated later, what makes you an artist is the work that you do.
For me, if I'm going to overcome my own panic of dying mundanely without completing any work I'll keep writing; keep showing up to conferences; keep having TDF meetings; keep surrounding myself with like-minded folks; keep surrounding myself with successful writers; keep helping others get their stories heard; keep working to send out scripts, and maybe, just maybe... I will grow enough hair to become as fluffy as Alex Winfield and die leaving an exquisite corpse. Until next year, may you complete all the stories you intend to tell.
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